Turkish “Delight”

Remember The Chronicles of Narnia? More specifically, remember The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe? Remember how Edmond was so tempted by Turkish Delight? I tried it. I will never want it again. Take a look at the name of this post. Notice how Delight is in quotes. Yeah, it’s that bad.




There’s what the box looks like. I imagine a trollface right under delight. Just sitting there going “Hey, this is definitely good. It’s not gonna trigger a gag reflex.”



There we go. That’s what I see when I look at the box now. Better yet, let’s add some quotes to this.


Yeah, that’s perfect. Now, let’s talk about the ingredients. I’m going to show a picture of those. You guys won’t need any explanation there.



Behold, the most random ingredients list that ever existed. I guess they were thinking “Oh! This stuff is good in stuff! Let’s put it all together and see what comes out!”

And the flavors don’t really work with each other the way they do them! What about there?! “Let’s take some Rose flavored gelatin and put some pistachios in it and throw in some lemon for good measure!”

What’s even worse is that there isn’t much flavor at all when there is! Why would you want to do that to yourself!?

I think there should be a “Good Luck” right under the ingredients list.



Oh, wait. I think I forgot something.



Much better. Now let’s address that expiration date. There shouldn’t be an expiration date. It should be a best by date. It should read “Best by: Never”



And that picture just about sums up Turkish Delight.

Now I’m going to ask the question several readers by now are asking “If Turkish Delight is so terrible, why was Edmond so tempted by it in the book and movie?”

It’s like he enjoys putting stuff that doesn’t taste good in his mouth. But it’s unsanitary to take crap and eat it. How could you like this stuff? It blows my mind to think that some people like it.

I’ve got it! It’s because he was so painfully British! So he wanted this candy that only the British would like. That must be it!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my rant about Turkish “Delight” and I’m looking forward to the next funny thing to post.



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